#Bikini’s To Bootay’s

For the past few weeks my flat mate Harriet and I have been talking about Paella on a Sunday at one of our favourite cafes and that we need to go and eat it…. This day we finally made it, hang over free!….. Paella is a traditional Spanish rice dish in which you can add meat and seafood and vegetables…..

Rosie, Harriet’s friend from work joins us and says she can put us on the guest list for Ocean Beach Club that night if we want to go…. Why not!…… I hadn’t been out with Harriet yet so thought it was a great chance to hang out and get to know her….. Ocean Beach club is a pool club on the beach, it’s a place where it is completely acceptable to wear your bikini and a pair of heels & swim with jewelery on, channeling your inner Beyonce….. We went a bit later in the day so there was no swimming for us today, Rosie and Harriet work at Ocean as Ibiza Massage Angel’s so it was straight to the VIP…. It wasn’t too busy in there so we wandered around the bars, the girls introduced me to Ash another masseuse at Ocean, he was great fun. One of those people that you know you would always have a good time with and there would never be a dull moment…. I started chatting with Ash’s friend Shane as he was sitting at the bar on his own and looked friendly……. Shane and I ended up hanging out for most of the night, he is from Israel and has his own business with several franchises, was nice just chatting to him and his Ibiza & life experiences whilst the girls did their thing…. We didn’t pay for any drinks and had these amazing Tequila Rose shots which have just changed the way I look at Tequila, they are so delicious…. Ocean closes at midnight so we all decided that West End was the answer…. Rosie and Harriett had made two friends so they were going with them & meeting us later…. So I went with Shane and Ash back to their villa which was half way home, I was in heels for the first time in months so this made sense to me. We sat at the villa which was massive, with a great view on the roof top and had a few vodkas then hit the west end to meet up with Rosie and Harriett and then to Soul City!….. I am now friends with the security guards at Soul City, I go there that much!…….

Who do I see DJ-ing at Soul City but DJ Uch from New York…… A few songs played and some serious dance floor action, I look over to Uch and he is calling me over…. I do the whole turn around thing thinking he is pointing at someone else and then point at myself as if to say ‘Do you mean me?!’….. He is laughing nodding…….I head around to the back of the DJ booth to say hi and he asks me for my phone number…… My dancing must have won him over! (insert sarcastic tone)….. Aussie David ended up meeting us out too and we headed to Hush, my feet were in absolute agony, I couldn’t even dance anymore – never wearing heels out again!…… Harriett and I were on our way home when I hear ‘Beyonce!’ ‘Beyonce!’ “Australian Beyonce!’…… It was Tony from Scotland who I met when I first got here #Pink Pants Party – https://takeachanceandneverlookback.wordpress.com/2014/07/13/pink-pants-party/

I screamed and we had a massive hug was so great to see him. Joe who is Tony’s mate was due to come again too but couldn’t make it, but Tony was with his other mate Tony! So the two Tony’s, Harriett and I head back to our apartment…… The boys convinced me to stay out with them and watch the sun rise so I went up stairs to change my shoes, all I could hear from my room was ‘Beyonce, Beyonce’….. I am thinking to myself shooosh the girls are sleeping and you will wake the neighbours (We actually did receive a noise complaint the next day)…….. I head back down stairs to see the Two Tony’s chatting to two other guys…. Tony yells out ‘Beyonce, I found two Aussies!’…… The two Tony’s randomly found these two Aussie guys wandering back to their hotel….. They ask me where I am from in Australia and turns out the two guys live 5 minutes away from me back home and how random is this – we all went to the same high school! Crazy!….. It was also at this time my phone was on silent and I miss a call from Uch……

The Two Tony’s and I go to their hotel and they check me into their room so I get a wrist band, pool access and free breakfast!….. We decided to head down to San Antonio Beach, music blasting and just loving life….. The boys were dancing in the life guard tower and then went for a swim so I thought it best I stick around just incase my life guard skills needed to be used…… 9.00am rolls around and it is time to hang up my party frock!

#Painted Up Again

A couple of hours sleep after David’s Party I was Marina’s Body Painting Model again…. We were both feeling a bit flat, hung over whatever you want to call it so we decided to crack open a bottle of wine…… 1 bottle of wine later and I was painted, we decided to wander around San Antonio so Marina could hand out some business cards, it was a Friday so she was trying to get people for the following day going to zoo or just going out anywhere……. and having people see me painted up with what Marina can do makes such a difference and really gets peoples attention…… I didn’t plan on going out that night but I was all painted up and ready to go so why not, when in Ibiza! Plus us girls can have some of the best conversations in the bathroom, I was basically walking, talking & dancing advertising for Marina…..

Now I do love being painted up, it’s a lot of fun and Marina and I have such a good laugh plus she is very talented…. But I was feeling a bit blah, had been painted up all day, was hung over then got drunk again then sobered up, and was getting drunk again….. the last few times I had been out in the west end I was a Geisha, then a leopard with a Mohawk and now painted again so I wasn’t feeling it so to speak…..Most people would probably just go home…… but I am a trooper!

Off to Beverly’s! No not Beverly’s the swingers club but the bar where our friend Beverly works – If you are unsure why we call Ben, Beverly it’s because when we first met him he told us he goes to Beverly’s a well known swingers club in Ibiza. So we nicknamed him Beverly or Bev’s. Sitting outside his bar having a few leisurely drinks when all of a sudden a guy sits down next to me and tries to take a photo of him and I, kung-fu Marina shuts that down quick smart… I think he was shocked at her lightening reflex, turns out he was out solo for the night and really meant no harm. I sat and chatted with Gabriel who I found out was in Ibiza for a few days on holiday with a friend, he is 35, from Miami (loving the accent), lives in Belgium and works in the military, has 8 skull tattoos in total and doesn’t really drink….. I let him off with the no drinking because of the skull tattoos. We sat and chatted for ages and Miami turns to me and says ‘You are a Unicorn’…….

Naturally I think this is a fantastic pick-up line because who doesn’t want to be called a Unicorn! In any pick-up situation you have to be a little bit weary, in Ibiza you have to know that, that pick-up line has been so used it’s as worn out as Michael Jackson’s lawyer…. (Sorry MJ!)

None the less Miami was sweet and good company so he ended up partying with us, we left Beverly’s who said he was going to call me later in the night to meet up….

Now the situation with Bev is that he has said this before and never called. When I first met Beverly I thought he was gay, turns out he isn’t so we had swapped numbers to hang out and entertain the idea of selling club tickets together, 2 weeks passed and I never heard from him, only if I had seen him at his work. Marina, Bev and I all flirt harmlessly together, he gets us workers priced drinks and he is a good laugh but that is it, you’ve had my number for 2 weeks and done nothing with it so to me that is – friend zoned. So Bev tells me he is going to call me later and for us to meet at Hush a bar in the west end, I say yeah ok thinking well yeah we shall see, all good either way….

Marina, Miami and I head to Oscar’s trance den for his famous Mojitos, seriously these things are amazing!…… Then off to Tropicana across the road for a dance….. Time was getting on and eventually the West End bars closed. The 3 of us head up to the Ship Inn as it will sometimes stay open later than bars in the West End and there is Beverly inside the Ship Inn….. He sees us and starts getting upset at me for not answering my phone and telling me that he was waiting for us in Hush and how rude of me to not be there or answer his calls…… I tell him that I didn’t hear my phone, which is the truth and that I was surprised he even called me…… Then it just got weird…..

So there is Marina well and truly in the bag needing to go home, myself wanting to go home, Miami offering to walk us home and Beverly thinking well this is what Beverly was thinking…… Beverly turns to me and says ‘So in life you have options, the option to go with 1(as he pulls one of his socks up his leg) and then you have option 2’ as he attempts to pull up the other sock……. I knew what he was getting at because earlier he grabbed an eating utensil and said ‘Do you wanna fork?!’…….. I in a friendly joking way laughed him off and tried to get Marina to come with me, she wasn’t budging and was quite happy where she was. I don’t ever like to leave my friends especially girls without making sure they are safe but Marina wasn’t having it, she wasn’t coming with me….. Now I am standing in the middle of Beverly and Miami, it felt like one of those awkward as hell moments where the bachelorette has to give out the last rose except there are no roses in this story and I am still painted as a leopard….. Beverly looks at me and says ‘ I thought we were going to ride tonight?’…..With that I gave Beverly a look of ‘Are you serious?….Who says Ride?’ amongst many other thoughts…… Said good bye to Marina and grabbed Miami’s hand to walk me home…….

What I got from this situation was that Beverly has had my number for over 2 weeks and never used it, he sees me getting some male attention and all of a sudden I look shiny and new again?!…. Seriously who says ride?……

The following night I decided to stay in, and I wake up the next morning to several messages from Miami. He was saying that he saw Beverly last night and that he is the worst human being ever and will have to tell me the story in person…… I suggest Miami and I go for breakfast….. We meet up and he begins to tell me about his night.

So Miami is out in the West End and ends up in the area where I had met him near Beverly’s, he sits down and starts chatting to some girls. He said they were having great chats when Beverly comes over to the table and starts saying some very inappropriate things to Miami, I will insert some child friendly words to give you an example ‘Did you take Claire home last night and ‘ride’?’ Beverly is saying to Miami in front of his new friends…… Miami gets up and takes Beverly aside, some more words were exchanged along the lines of ‘You stole Claire from me’ says Beverly….. Miami said he was about to knock him out but told him that he didn’t want to fight with him at his work place but is more than happy to come back when he finishes and ‘sort it out’… Beverly says to Miami, well you can chat to all of my friends, pointing at security guards and other workers around him…… Miami decides to leave it and goes back to the table for the girls to say to him ‘Yeah we have to leave now’…….. I have no doubt Miami who is in the military would have knocked Beverly flat out and he would have deserved it, I was furious firstly because I wasn’t anyone’s to steal and second for ruining Miami’s night when he is just here on holiday….. Not gonna lie a teeny tiny eeeny weeeny part of me was feeling a bit special that two guys were going to get into a punch up over me, come on you can’t tell me you wouldn’t like that just a little! I would just like to add that violence is not the answer.

 

#Princess and the Pee

I was just chilling watching TV one lazy Ibiza afternoon, when I hear my phone ring and to my absolute delight and excitement it’s Aussie David whom I met at #Shit Party. David invited me to his birthday as he was having a joint party at his flat, I thought why not go… always good to meet new people and David struck me as good fun people…

Bottle of wine in hand I head to meet David, he only lives a few minutes away from me…. First thing he says to me is that he was so glad I came, he gets good vibes off people and he got good vibes from me and just knew that we had to hang out again – What a sweet heart and I felt and feel the exact same!…….. His flat has the best view…. 8 people sleep there and share 1 bathroom but it has a massive wrap around balcony that looks over the whole of San Antonio with a perfect view of the sunset…..

The party was a great mix of ages and people living in and traveling to Ibiza…. I met some lovely Aussie girls that were traveling, was nice to hear an Aussie accent. It’s funny how much it really does stand out when you haven’t heard it in a while……It is also a bit of a giggle at how carried away you can get with being your own version of Steve Irwin and how much people believe you, because from my experience thus far there are not very many Aussies in Ibiza…. In my Steve Irwin alter ego I wrestle crocodiles with one hand and beer in the other whilst Skippy holds my purse……I’m telling you it never gets old along with when people ask me where I am from I say ‘Down Under Mate!’ – never gets old………

It was really good fun meeting new people, drinking and eating…… Just after midnight we all decide to head down to the West end as it is literally a 2 minute walk from David’s flat….. We were sitting at a bar called Godfathers when David and I look at each other and he says ‘I want to go to Soul City!’…… This was when I knew we were meant to be friends…… David and I decided to go on our own adventure… I think we went into almost every bar along the strip…. Started in Soul City but it wasn’t that busy then went to Ibiza 80’s and 90’s bar for a sing-a-long and dance… not really happening in there… off to Ground Zero an Indie bar hmmm not really what we were looking for…..we walked into Rev’s and walked right back out again, into Stereo and saw my mate Danny who was well and truly in the bag so we didn’t stay too long as he wasn’t DJ-ing …..Then wandered into Hush and we just were not feeling it, we were looking for the bar that was juuuuust right…..All we wanted to do was dance and sing to songs we knew all the words too if only we had thought about a karaoke bar……. We decided to cut our losses and head back to David’s flat……

Sitting on the balcony at David’s and the front door slides open, it’s Beck and soem friends who live with David. Beck was planning on staying home but her room was being otherwise occupied so she ducked out for a bit….. All of us pretty drunk peek a look through the window into the bedroom to see of it’s safe for Beck to return…. Not peeking in some weirdo perverted peeping Tom way, Thank you very much!……There is Alex, Beck’s roomie…… passed out in a ball on the floor between two beds cuddling the bedside table ‘Crouching tiger hidden dragon’ styles….and there is a guy sleeping on Beck’s bed whom we actually all thought was gay but nobody really knew who he was….. Maybe now…not so gay……

So here is the situation – There is a random guy sleeping in your bed, not cool to start off with and then you discover this random dude your room mate brought home, who is sleeping in your bed, has in fact pissed his pants!…… Your bed is your bed, I believe that we all really love our beds and would have similar views on bed, it’s your place where you feel safe and it’s always there for you, you can do anything you want in your bed, in Ibiza that feeling is times a million. Your bed is the place that no one else can touch, it’s the one place on this crazy island that is yours and you don’t have to share it with anyone…unless you want too! Sounds crazy but when you are sharing a flat with several people you don’t really know, sharing a bathroom, bedroom, wardrobe, kitchen, lounge room, water, food, toothpaste, hair spray, snickers bar, lettuce, anything you bring into the flat is and will be anyone’s with or without your permission….. but your bed is YOUR bed.

I really don’t blame Beck for what happened next, I do feel bad that David and I stood at the window and watched the entertainment, sorry drama unfold…. He was filming and I may have been commentating….. Beck, basically was screaming and yelling at this random to get off her bed and get out of the house….. Anyone would have done the same, if not reacted far worse. The most bazaar part was that the guy didn’t want to leave!…. There was Beck yelling at a fully clothed adult male ‘You are in my bed and you’ve pissed your pants, why do you want to stay? Why don’t you get out? GET OUT!’ – That’s the G-rated version…… He just wouldn’t leave so at this point David and I are in hysterics, this random guy just would not leave, I felt embarrassed for him….. Eventually after two guys assisted the random bed wetter finally left but now Beck was stuck with a wet bed and as you would be, she was pissed! (Pardon the pun)… So I may have suggested she switch mattresses with the girl who brought the random bed wetter home, seems only fair right!……

I’m not sure what went down the next day but I do know that Beck has now a pee free bed and dry sheets!…..

 

 

#Painted Up

On Saturdays in San Antonio there is a party on called ‘Zoo Project’ and it is a big party in an abandoned zoo, everyone gets dressed up and painted as zoo animals & just parties in the zoo, DJ’s in the seal pit, people in cages, where else but in Ibiza!….. My flat mate Marina is a freelance Body Painter, she has been painting in Ibiza for the last four summers so she will paint people up for zoo and other club nights. To get body painting bookings Marina goes down to the beaches and chats to groups of people on holiday to see what they are up too and if they want to get painted…. She had been asked for some images of her painting to go on a website so she needed a model… that would be Me!….. and I had to stay painted all day and night…… basically I don’t back down from a challenge so thought why not, I can do that!

It took Marina an hour and I was painted! I had my hair styled like a mini curly Mohawk with pink and blue colouring, on one side of my hair and face I had gold and black leopard print, then on my chest I had blue and purple flowers and a whole lotta glitter……We took some pics then headed down to the beach to get some bookings….. It was really fun chatting to different groups and everybody loved the painting….I walked past an old man selling water on the beach and hear a big ‘Achooo’ with the splash of wetness on my back….. I scream!…..Thank goodness he didn’t sneeze on me but thought it was hilarious to make me think so…..once is funny but after the forth time, I think Marina was about to deck him………we also got offered a lap dance from a random guy on the beach which was just lovely……

Whilst Marina went to paint some groups I tried having a siesta without smudging my paint, basically meant I had to sleep sitting up like a zombie…. I surprisingly did sleep for a little bit… We headed out to the West End later that night and went to several bars, we headed to the bar Ben aka Beverly from #Shit Party – https://takeachanceandneverlookback.wordpress.com/2014/08/06/shit-party/ works at, quite a few cheap drinks and shots were had and Marina tells me she has called Ed who we also met #Shit Party night for a mini reunion….. It was actually really fun being out all painted up and after a few drinks I didn’t care it was something different and you don’t get to do it everyday….I was surprised at how much guys really loved it, made for an interesting conversation starter…. I even had one guy buy me a rose from the little Spanish lady on the street, and they are not cheap – 5 Euro! And of course ‘Hey Australia’, Abdul can spot me from a mile away, how does he know!…..

So Ed rolls on down for more drinks and shots and we convince Ed to come with us to Soul City, Beverly was going to meet us later at another bar. Ed lasted about 2 minutes in Soul City before he was outta there, it was very gangster that night…..Marina and I didn’t stay too much longer either as my painting attire was not exactly the get down and grind kinda painting…. I did still ‘Own it’ for a bit though, come on it’s Soul City!…… We then headed for Play 2 where Marina’s friend Paul DJ’s and Lisa Lashes was going to be DJ-ing at 4am….. I’m not really a Trance Rave glow stick fluffy boots fan but I love a dance.

My paint still all in tact, Marina and I danced the night away …… I got chatting to one of the DJ’s who invited me to the private after party with Lisa Lashes but I couldn’t bring anyone with me so I didn’t end up going as well that’s no fun ditching your friends, he did later find me on Face Book and we were going to meet up but I ended up at another after party in a Jacuzzi till the sun was well and truly up….. Paint Still On!…….

Hold Tight, I have many stories to come….. I just need to stop going out so I can keep you updated!

 

#Tonight I Shall Be Miss Bunting

It is always the nights you don’t plan to do anything when something comes up you cannot refuse.

I was all set to go for a run, come home have dinner, watch our favourite TV show ‘Infieles’ a show about 4 women that lead the most dramatic and insane lives filled with affairs and scandal followed by our other favourite show ‘Desperate Maids’ whether it is actually called that I’m not sure, it’s what we call it and it’s about Spanish maids. I haven’t watched this much TV in my life! I’m all set for my night in when Marina gets off her phone and says if I pretend to be Clare Bunting there is a possibility I can go with her tonight……

Where is she going you ask?

To Pikes. Pikes is a privately owned villa somewhere in Ibiza and you cannot pay to go, you have to be on the guest list and entry is very sought after. What makes this villa so special?…. Oh you know it was just main party place used by the front man of Queen, Freddie Mercury!…… I had heard stories about how cool this place is so if I had to pretend to be a man I was going to go.

We got dressed and headed over to the bay to Pink Panthers bar to meet Laura whom we went out with the other night, Laura’s friend Clare isn’t coming so I am taking her place. A few drinks here and we jumped into a taxi to go to the secret location, which was said to be in the middle of nowhere….. Turns out the secret location was walking distance from our house but just very tucked away you wouldn’t even know it was there. We walk up to the entrance, Laura goes first and has to show ID, Bonnie her friend is next and she also has to show ID, at this stage I am thinking OK I have to be Clare Bunting but my ID is Claire Moffat….. Do I A. Say I forgot my ID and just hope for the best, B. Say I recently got married so I haven’t had time to change my last name on my ID, C. Make up some story and try not to freak out…… I decided to stay calm, be confident, ‘Own it’ and rock it like I was Clare Bunting…… Piece of Cake! What ID!

We walk up the slate pathway and it was not what I expected at all, I think because I had been to an after party in a villa that was quite modern I expected a bigger version of that. This villa was very Spanish, you walk in and to the left there is a Porno shed where you can purchase Porn!….There is only 1 bathroom for male and female, Freddie’s bed is available for you to sit on, you walk up the hill and go into several different rooms, some rooms have DJ’s, some have bars, some have lounges, you can sing karaoke in the bathtub, the crazy piano room, a dress up room where you can take anything you want from there and wear. I am telling you it was random and such a mixed bag of people and things to do…. Be warned drinks are expensive – 12 Euro!……. Tonight the after party at Ibiza Rocks was in Pikes so usually whoever plays there will be at Pikes….. A bit of a celebrity hang out…. Tonight it was Rudimental. Now when a guy was waving at me to ‘Come get in the photo’ I just stood there with my drink and vogue thinking who are you?… and I’m not climbing over that huge log to get in a photo with a stranger……. Turns out it was Rudimental….. What a twat!…. Luckily I wasn’t the only one, Marina stood next to me thinking the same thing, that log is massive….. Bunch of twats!

We wandered around the villa a bit more and Robert one of the guys that came with us jumped on the piano and was unreal, he was belting out the tunes and of course wouldn’t seem right to not play a Queen song….. ‘Mamma Oooooo, didn’t mean to make you cry’…. The whole place was singing, it was one of those really cool moments where you are pinching yourself…..

I should mention that I LOVE Queen. If I was a teenager in the 80’s I would have been the biggest Freddie groupie, he was just incredible and I have my parents to thank for introducing me to Queen. One of my fondest memories is one night Dad and I were the only ones up having a few red wines whilst Mum and Matt slept…. A few red wines later the Queen DVD is on and we are singing, song after song…. Matt was banging on the wall telling us to ‘Shut Up’ as we turned the volume up…… I always remember and love that night with my Daddy Bear.

Anywho back to Ibiza and Freddie’s villa…… Apparently back in the day Freddy would get everyone to dress up in costume and there were dwarfs walking around carrying plates with lines of ummm sherbet……. Can you imagine the things that would have gone down in that place…. Turns out you can also go to Pikes for Sunday Lunch…. Now we know that it is right near our house, Sunday lunch is definitely on the cards.

Met some interesting characters, had a drink and a dance and was actually home before the sun came up!….. First time for everything!

 

 

 

 

 

#SHIT PARTY!

The SHIT PARTY in Ibiza is only on once a year every Summer Season, and it is only for workers in Ibiza. It is a huge dress up party in an abandoned zoo, where everyone basically just goes nuts! I had heard about this party when I was last in Ibiza so I was really keen to go since I am kind of a worker… I just don’t quite have a job yet. Anywho Marina and I discussed over many a meal what we could go as, Marina was going to make a mermaid costume and I wanted to go as Beyoncé but then decided I should go as something completely opposite to what I am now and that is Geisha!…… Marina sprayed my hair black and painted my face white, I added massive eye lashes, red lips, chopsticks in my hair and made my sort of kimono and belt. In 40-degree heat it is very hard keeping a white face from running down your face!……. Marina’s friends Paul who was DJ-ing at SHIT PARTY dressed in a blue wig and one of Marina’s dresses, who we will now call Paulina and Lee who co-founded the party dressed as a Sunflower, both came round for some pre-drinks and dress ups.

We headed to the party to catch Paul DJ-ing in the Seal Pit, yes you read correctly the seal pit, where DJ’s are on the stage and everyone else is dancing in the stand. Then we just watched everyone roll in, in all sorts of costumes….. There was Sonic the hedge hog on rollerblades, The Highland Parade all in kilts, Teletubbies, coke cans, Charlie’s Angels (With a play on the word Charlie) A dominatrix and her gimp, Smurfs, flowers, animals, Looky Looky men and women, Rolf Harris, a guy who seemed to love being Miley Cyrus….. If you love a dress up this is probably one of the best in the world!…..

It was great fun just checking out all the costumes, dancing in the seal pit and just dancing anywhere in general and making friends. One guys opening line to me was that he just had to tell me that I had very strong looking legs, he had seen me before and thought ‘Now, that is a woman’…… I was really unsure how to take this….. Is it a compliment or is he telling me in a nice way I have massive thunder thighs?!…… Either way I better lay off the late night pizzas.

I also met David my new Aussie Best friend from Brisbane who is 18 and lives in Ibiza, hopefully we have some nights out as he was really good fun.

Marina and I decide to dance in front of this I guess it was a tree house with a DJ booth; Marina turns to me and says ‘Are you ready to run when I say go?’….. Me: ‘Yeah’…. Thinking we were going to take a short cut back into the seal pit…..Marina ‘Ok, when I say we are going under that rope and follow my lead’….. Marina: ‘Three, two, One, GO!’……. I follow Marina as we duck under the rope, take a sharp right up some stairs and we are now in the tree house in the DJ booth dancing!….. We decided we had a pretty good position so stayed in the tree house with the DJ’s until the end of the party.

The SHIT PARTY started at 5pm and finished at midnight, afterwards everyone heads back to the West End to the after party and stays in their dress up costumes….. I was so close to washing my face and changing but Marina said everyone stays dressed up so I decided I had come this far, I may as well see it through….. Marina the Mermaid and myself the Geisha head to Play 2 a bar in the West End for the after party and where Paul aka Paulina was also DJ-ing….. A few drinks in Play 2 and then we head for…… where do you think we went?…… Soul City!….. We cannot stay away from that place it’s like a magnet for our inner booty shakin soul sisters……. And booty shake we did!

A drink or two in Soul City and we then head to Tropi or as I now call it Oscar’s Trance Den….. Oscar is the owner and a good friend of Marina’s…. this place had about 4 people in it and you could probably fit about another 2 people in there, it was quite cosy and yes the music was pretty hard core, but I do believe you can dance to anything!….. Oscar also makes a really amazing Mojito, which helps you dance to anything……

After leaving the trance den we headed to a bar called Hospital, they serve cocktails in IV drip bags and hook them up in the middle of the table so you can drink out of the bag through a tube, we made friends with girls who had one on their table and as I was sitting there white faced, black hair looking Asian I hear ‘Hey Australia!’…. ARE YOU KIDDING ME! I just burst out laughing, how did he know it was me?!…. I said that to the ‘Looky Looky’ man, who’s name is Abdul (No not Paula unfortunately) I said ‘Seriously how do you know it is me? I look completely different’….. He said ‘I never forget a pretty face’….. Me: ‘Yeah but my face is white’….. He asked for my number a few times and I pretended or may have actually been quite drunk so I just didn’t hear or pretended I didn’t hear him say that….. Next we headed to Hush for a bit of a dance, I ran into my Aussie mate David again…. Honestly it just felt weird dancing to house music as a Geisha but who cares its Ibiza…..

So there we were a Mermaid and a Geisha at 6am all dressed up sitting outside Hush, we quickly made some new friends and headed up the road to the Ship Inn as we thought it may still be open for drinks…… on the way we ran into Ed whom we met at the SHIT PARTY… He was actually dressed as a gimp so was pretty random that we recognized him without his mask on….. He joined us at Ship Inn and was chatting to Marina…… I started chatting to Ben who was just passing by, I think we bonded over the fact we collaborated to steal a yellow feathered boa…… I thought Ben was gay at first, he kind of gave off that vibe in his bright red pants and carried what looked to be a woman’s bag, plus he talked about going to gay clubs and bars and a club called Beverly’s which is a swingers club…. Ben and I got along really well next thing I know we are telling each other our life stories, Ben struck me as one of those very intelligent creative beings who could go really far in life but think too much therefore can come across a bit nuts. For example he told me that I was the first person he has had a proper conversation with in weeks and that he doesn’t usually talk to people, he has all these great ideas but doesn’t know whether to action them or write a book about them, he is a painter, he writes, he makes jewelry and has 150 dresses from India in his house to sell……. and now the sun is well and truly coming up also turns out that Ben is not gay he just likes sequined bags….

Marina, Ed, Ben and I decide to go and get take-away drinks from the 24 hour convenient store called Wips, unfortunately it was too early for the alcohol to be served so Ben took us to a hotel that serves alcohol 24/7…. A few ciders, bag of Doritos later and I’m surprised they even served us, Ben is ordering a big breakfast whilst talking about the pyramids, Marina is telling Ed her life story, Ed is talking about some sex party and I am falling asleep just wanting to wash my face……Then when people start having breakfast at the table next to you all fresh faced, smiling and happy ready to start the day….. When your face is not so fresh and you have been dressed as a Geisha for close to 24 hours, it is a sign it is time to call it a night….. My head hit the pillow at Midday.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#BoooM!!

After the night out at Stereo – https://takeachanceandneverlookback.wordpress.com/2014/07/31/stereo

We all made plans to head out the following night to a club called Booom! For Defected in the House. I was struggling a little from backing up the nights before but I’m a trooper so I got back on that horse and met DJ Danny, his girlfriend Abby and their friend Lianne for tapas at a great Peruvian restaurant called El Sapo in San Antonio.

The food was amazing, I had a traditional dish which was mash potatoe with avocado and octopus so yum, and quinoa balls, anything your ordered you couldn’t go wrong with – the Sangria is delish too! After dinner we had a bit of a plan as we had several places to go before heading to Booom! but we were on a tight schedule as to get in using our guest list we had to be there by 2am, sounds do-able right, considering it was 9pm!…….

Danny, Abby and I headed to Savannah’s down on the sunset strip to catch the pre-party, this is usually an hour or so DJ set by one of the DJ’s that will be playing at the club that night and it’s free. We ordered a bottle of wine and found a table by the DJ/VIP booth….. Who do I see in the VIP?….?…..?….. But DJ Uch, the DJ from Soul City. Uch comes over to say hi, as he also knows Danny…… In short I find Uch damn fine!…Seriously he’s freakin hot and that New York accent Yum Yum Yum……. Anywho we all get chatting and decide to head up to the West End….. I thought now is my chance to get to know Uch a bit, lay a few flirting foundations …… Uch had to work that night so when he said goodbye which is a kiss on each cheek for when you say Hola (Hello) and Adios (Goodbye) in Spanish *cough cough* I may have gotten two goodbyes…. And I casually mentioned that when he was next off work we should go for a drink or two…. Pretty sure that was the Sangria, Wine and take-away beer doing the confident talking but he said yes so who knows…….

Whilst in the West End we picked up David who was joining us for the night, a shot at Stereo, some more wine and we had to stock up on alcohol & hit two more bars before getting to Booom!….. It was now 12.30am and we had an hour to do so…… First stop Plastik, which is a bar down on the San Antonio beach, VIP wristbands and into the VIP area for some drinks stayed there for a little bit then headed to Linekers a bar just further down the beach…. And it was rammed in there, so busy…. Had a few more drinks and realized it was 1.30am! We had half an hour to get in a taxi and get to Booom! or we would be paying to get in…….. We managed to find a taxi, or rather a man with a car who got us there just in time, we literally just made it with minutes to spare…. get to the VIP entrance and my name was no where on the guest list, I also happened to have a hip flask of vodka on either side of my waist……. But…….. I still got in….. With vodka intact!

The rest of the night was just a blur of dancing and making trips to the toilet to fill our glasses with vodka….. Sometimes I wonder how I do it!……Let’s just say the next day I was feeling a little bit fragile.

 

#Stereo

So after arriving home at 8am from a random night of VIP and Moet…. Spent the next day suffering a little. A hang over can be horrendous at the best of times but in 30 degree heat come 9am, it just makes life that little bit more difficult. I had already decided I was going to have a nice relaxing night in when DJ Danny from Stereo bar whom I met when I first got here messaged to say his girlfriend was in town and would be great if I could meet her….. He had already told her that I was coming down to Stereo that night. Hmmm looks like that relaxing night in will have to wait. I head down to Stereo thinking, I’ll just have a few drinks and a dance then be back home relatively early…… I am certain I did not stop dancing all night, I also must have had a sign on my head that said all young kids and any freaks out there – come on down!…… I had one guy come and have a dance, you couldn’t even call it a dance really he had one hand on the ground and the other flapping in the air behind him whilst bouncing then decided to take his shirt off as some kind of peacock display yet he looked 12, an older Spanish man who was up to my waist telling me he was in love and then old mate lurking in the corner all night …….I was on fire, if they weren’t just hitting puberty they had clearly escaped from somewhere.

On the strip in the West End you get approached by a lot of PR workers for the bars, little Spanish ladies selling week old roses, Lookie Lookie men, this odd man who carries a monkey and guys who take your photo and put it on a key ring……. I was sitting outside chatting to some girls & people watching when I saw a young guy who had attempted to thread the key ring with his photo attached through his ear lobe…… Let’s just say he didn’t quite get the keyring through his ear like you would a key on a key ring and he didn’t seem to be in much pain…. For now!

5.30am and I’m feeling rather hungry after all that dancing and fending off interesting characters, I call Marina who was awake and we go and get pizza…. Collecting my pizza and the pizza guy tells me that the chef and owner likes me…. Well that just topped my night off because he looked like he had eaten all the pizzas….. Could be a good friend to have though, for any future 5.30am snacks!

 

#A Few Quiet Drinks

I was behaving and saving so I hadn’t been out for a few nights since our 10am stumble through the door. Marina and I decided to head over to the Bay for a few, which is over the other side of funnily enough the bay. Our flat mate Alana works at a bar over there so we thought we would stop in and have a few quiet drinks….. Long Island iced tea and a few screaming orgasms later we bar hoped to another bar and met Marina’s friend Laura…… 1 quick taxi ride and we were out in the West End again…. This time we went to a bar called Hush, the music was house music so it was straight to the d-floor….. I was just doin my thang when he caught my eye…. And again… and again….. and again….. until he came over to say Hi….. Tall, dark hair, very good-looking… hello!…… It was loud in the bar so I’m not 100% on all the details but his name could possibly maybe be Delorian, he is either Hungarian or he was hungry, lives in Ibiza working the Summer, may or may not have a job somewhere called the bay bar…. He asked for my number as he was about to leave & I thought why not…… Us three girls then left Hush to go too…..???? Can you guess where???…. Soul City!….. My fav DJ from New York, DJ Uch was playing but we actually didn’t stay in there too long before we headed back to Hush.

On the way back to the bar I got chatting to a very tall, gorgeous Brazilian man…. And invited him to come into Hush with us…. As we walked in the door he took a sharp right turn into the VIP…..I gave him a look of ummmm what are you doing?….. As he waved us all in….. turns out it was his VIP section….. and starts ordering us bottles of Moet!…. Marina and I just look at each other as if to say ‘So much for quiet drinks’….. I think this Brazilian guy is quite up there as people were at his beck and call and if anyone was in the VIP that was not meant to be, it was just a simple hand to the throat with a slice across motion and they were out…..

Now whilst in VIP I’m not sure if it was being in there but I started to get a bit more male attention…. Delorian the guy I had met earlier who was apparently not staying long, hadn’t left and was just staring at me so naturally I waved……. according to Marina it was what she called a royal wave, but I can’t be certain, and it was dark in there…. Then this other guy was starring and doing sign language so much so the Brazilian possible drug lord asked me if he was my boyfriend… umm nope, not that I know of……. Next thing Delorian is messaging me telling me he wanted to see me but couldn’t because I was in VIP, I didn’t respond straight away as I wasn’t really focusing on my phone with Moet around, sorry free Moet around and then he messages me saying ‘ Well I guess you are not interested’……. I think it is the power of the velvet rope, does things to people…. I swear I did not royal wave!

Next thing I know the bar is closing and it’s just Marina and I in the VIP drinking our Moet. The bar tender was about to take our half full bottle away when we were all Whoa whoa whoa! Hold on that is our bottle as she pretended she didn’t think we wanted it…. Umm no, we are taking that with us even if it has to be in plastic cups……… Now it’s 6am in the morning as Marina and I are sitting outside the bar with our Moet in plastic cups and if you enjoy the sport of people watching well this is quite a time to do so……

Only took a few minutes before we had a few new interesting friends, Chunk and his mate were vay-caying and had been on a bit of a bender…. Yes his name was Chunk, we sat just having some get to know you conversations when we were approached by guess who?….. ‘I am a man from Gambia’……. How does he know it is me!…… not long after he left a ‘Looky Looky’ woman approached us….. She turns to me and asks if Chunk is my boyfriend…. I say ‘Nope, he isn’t’…. the ‘Looky Looky’ woman then turns to Chunk and says ‘I’ll suck your willy for 10 Euro!’…I just burst out laughing, as that is not what I was expecting her to say…. She had no teeth but least she asked if he was my boyfriend, so she still had manners…… Expect anything and everything in Ibiza!

#Whilst On The Beach_Part 2

In Ibiza one of the most common things you will see walking the beaches and streets, day and night are what are known as ‘Looky Looky’ Men and Women. These are men and women mostly from Nigeria & Senegal that sell all sorts of things and say ‘Looky Looky’ whilst showing you their loot.

The men generally sell sunglasses, hats, beaded bracelets and necklaces, glasses with a light up willy on them because we all need one of those for €15, weird monkey toys that have red eyes and looked possessed – again because we all need one of those! The women will usually try shaking your hand and asking you where you are from, next thing you know you have 5 bracelets on, one is braiding your hair whilst three others are robbing you…. Yes, the women are slightly more aggressive than the men but the men, the men are persistent and they don’t forget.

It was a really hot day and I had been busy all morning, grocery shopping and seeing people so I just wanted to chill on the beach and have some alone time. Now a day or so earlier on the beach Marina and I got chatting to a ‘Looky Looky’ and he asked me where I was from and I said Australia…… As I am walking along the beach I hear ‘Hey Australia’ it was the guy I had met the other day, shocked that he remembered me…. I go over and say hello, shake his hand and then head to sit on the beach…… You also don’t really want to get on the bad side of a ‘Looky Looky’ as some are known to be a bit naughty but most are fairly friendly, so I see no harm in saying Hello now and then….

I sit down on the beach for my alone time and it was clear that was not going to happen. In the space of 15 minutes, I am not exaggerating I was approached at least 6 times…. As soon as one left another would come over…. Now I tend to think I am a nice person I give anyone the time of day and I won’t be rude if it’s not necessary….So when the ‘Looky Looky’ men come over to me I just say no thank you, no thank you, no thank you……. But this one guy was not giving up.

‘I am a man from Gambia, I am very sexy, nice man, I come to your home and make good night for you’….. Me: ’Oh that is very sweet but, no Thank you’…… ‘Where you from, where you from’…….‘Why you no like black man?’….. Me: ‘What, it’s not that’… thinking geeez he’s gone and pulled the race card, smooth operator……. ‘But I love you, I see you, you very pretty, I nice man, I very gentle nice man’….. As he is trying to shove a beaded bracelet on my hand……. Me: ‘I’ve got so many of these bracelets and I really don’t need anymore, no thank you’…….

I wish I could say that was the last I have seen of the ‘I am a man from Gambia’ but it was not, he stopped me the following day on the street then would you believe that night in the West End!….. Each time I get the same speech ‘I am a man from Gambia, I am very sexy, nice man, I see you everyday, I love you’…….. I basically just brush him off and he goes away….. A few days later I was not feeling very well so Marina and I went and sat on the opposite end of the beach and I was just drifting off into a deep sleep when I hear ‘Lovely Jubbly’…. Wakes me up gives me the fright of my life and who do you think it is?…… ‘Man from Gambia’…… Here I am half asleep thinking how does he know that it is me?!….. ‘Give me your number’ he says…. Me: ‘No, I’m not doing that’….. ‘Ok’ he says and walks away……. Oh thank goodness I hope that is the end of that….. Though something tells me with another two months of living here I doubt it will be the last…….. As Marina and I walk back from the beach I hear ‘Hey Australia’…… I don’t think it will be the last I see of him either……

So in total that makes 3 ‘Looky Looky’ Lovers I have going, there is George whom I met when I first got here and he can spot me a mile away, hair up, hair down, straight hair, curly hair, sunglasses, no sunglasses, I’ve even had my back to him whilst under the beach shower and he spotted me…..then there is ‘I am a man from Gambia’ and ‘Hey Australia’…… My flat mates think it’s hilarious as they work along the beach and never have this issue…… So I am now taking a different route to the beach!