#Castle Lampern

Took me two and a half months to find my home away from home in London called ‘Castle Lampern’….. I spent endless hours a day scrolling through the rental websites… spare room.com, move flat.com, gum tree, Face Book, Google mapping where places are….. It becomes a serious addiction….. Kind of like when you just go to ‘quickly’ browse the home page of Face Book to see what’s happening…and 2 hours later you find yourself still ‘quickly’ browsing…..

Once you find places you like the sound of; they are in a decent area where you are not likely to get mugged in the Tesco’s at midday, the room can fit more than your suitcase, the pictures look decent, they don’t have any odd rules Eg: you must be this age, you must be a vegetarian, you must be this religion, you must be employed, you must like my cat….. And if it sounds too good to be true in this case it probably is or it’s a scam!……Oh and watch out if it is insanely cheap because then you are sleeping on Ahmed’s pink massage table in the pink room!….. (I kid you not, he wasn’t lying either the pictures showed said pink table)

You need to then apply to view the rooms and it feels as though you’re on some kind of dating website trying to sell your personality in a few short lines….. Make your message stand out from the rest it says in the guidelines, not just ‘I’m a nice, neat person’…. Yes of course you are, like the thousands of other people vying for the room …… But most adverts/land lords will ask for your age and tell me a bit about yourself….. Or be more specific…. ‘If you were a fruit what fruit would you be?’…. Seriously what fruit would you be?…. I said ‘Mango’….Nailed it, got an interview!…….. That feeling of being asked ‘What time can you come?’ is the same as when you get that job you always wanted…. It can also feel equally as lousy when you either get no response (Expect that to happen a lot) or ‘Sorry we don’t think you are the right fit’….. but….. but…. but you don’t even know me, as though you have been rejected from the cool group at school (insert sad face). Do not let this get to you, it’s not personal it just wasn’t the right one for you!

The first place I viewed they basically said if you want the room, who ever has the deposit now, in cash, can have it…. Out of nowhere this guy breaks through the crowd and just launches himself into the room onto the bed yelling ‘It’s mine!’…. Is this what I’m in for? I thought…. Wrestling people for a single bed in what smelt like a curry house in down town Bombay?…… You name it you will see it, hear it and be amazed at the places you will view and how much it will cost….The double room that over looks a cement wall, in the 3 bedroom flat where the kitchen is smaller than the bathroom, no communal area so you hang out in your door way, will set you back 500 pounds a month…. And don’t even think that going through a real estate agent will be better, it’s worse! They are either 2 hours late or just never show up because they are ’stuck in traffic’ yet you can hear typing and phones ringing in the background or they will show you the ‘large’ (meaning even a small dog would feel claustrophobic) double room with the bed that is in pieces (Don’t worry it will be fixed when you move in…hmmm sure it will)… in the hope you don’t mind smoking because the tenants smoke everywhere including the shower…. Real estate agents are as good as recruitment agents here – useless!

In saying all of this, it is the reality of looking for a flat in London, but when you find a place that stands out from the rest, feels homely, is clean, the tenants seem cool and the Tesco’s is well lit armed with security guards. It makes you realize that you had to experience all those dumps just so that when this one came along…..you would know….. That this is ‘The One!’

4 months later I now live in East London with the two most unreal guys, Tom and Ed at a cosy place we call ‘Castle Lampern’…. At first I thought maybe living with two guys was not a good idea, that I would miss female company, two boys might be a bit messy, loud and dirty and messy…. Nope I absolutely love it!!

Especially when you are living far away from a place you called home for the last 30+ years, it can be hard to find somewhere that is homely, you all get along, you stay up till 2am watching TV shows together, have your own Netflix profile, your own toilet, cupboard and shelf in the fridge, there’s a secret porn stash under the stairs, you have a thing called ‘ the list’ (will explain that later), you all care about each other, can get drunk together and be hung over together, you feel comfortable and can be you…. I have found my home away from home ……and I couldn’t be happier that we all eat meat!

 

#Everybody Wants To Be a Londoner

So yes that is me, I’ve hit the 3 month mark of living, working, eating, drinking, occasional gyming, shopping, making friends, exploring, partying, dancing, dating, loving and hating London!…. No not much hating…. only on the tube during peak hour!….

The first time I travelled on the tube during peak hour was on my way to work, on the central line, the main tube train line that runs from East to West London straight through Oxford Circus…… I was speechless, never have I seen so many people on a train, pushed up against windows, pretty much on top of each other, then to see more people trying to push themselves on and into any space they can find, being within inches of getting caught in the tube doors…. Whilst on the platform more and more commuters gather to board the next tube which by the way comes exactly 1 minute later and another one exactly 1 minute after that….. I thought to myself I will never try to squeeze on a tube with all of those people, that is ridiculous, what is the point….. Give it 3 more peak hour journeys of watching train after train pass because you think you can’t fit, you realise you have been waiting 20 minutes that is at least 10 trains you could have jumped on and now you are late for work… Now I understand why people get ‘Tube Rage’….Day 4 you are throwing elbows, so Cirque Du Soleil you’re going all chinese gymnast to get yourself on that tube…..Once you’re on the tube and the doors are closed don’t think you can breathe easy yet, you better hold on because the tube waits for no one and that thing goes fast…. Hold onto any rail, door or ceiling you can, try not to fall on anyone around you, hold onto your bag and be mindful of thieves ( I had a close call with this!) and just hope you don’t start sweating and need to take your coat off… because… well….. you physically can’t!….All a while it’s freezing temperatures outside it’s the toasty tropics inside….minus the sun!

It’s not all bad, once you work out the better times to get to the station, the least crowded carriage to board, it’s one of the fastest and most convenient ways to travel around London. I actually love it and I love how random it is, the things you see and hear whilst trying not to make eye contact with anyone for too long…..

One morning as I squeezed myself onto a crowded tube I look up to see quite a handsome man smiling at me as we stand inches away from one another…. I don’t even stand this close to my friends…. There we are on the tube nose to nose, not really knowing where to look, trying to play it cool, not to look each other in the eyes or be caught checking each other out… Oh I know I’ll look up and read the tube map…. because I haven’t looked at that a thousand times before!…. As the tube pulled up to each stop and people got on and off we moved near each other, exchanging glances and smiles… Ok I think he fancies me, time to ‘grow a set’ but we both have ear phones in so how will we ever actually talk?…. I thought I’ll just casually take my ears phones out and put my phone in my bag and see what happens….Nothing to lose!… He taps my arm and asks me if I am getting off the tube… I say ‘No, not yet’ (Insert cheeky smile) and we start talking, we ended up getting off at the same stop and chat to the tube exit. There is an exchange of numbers and kiss on the cheek goodbye…..

Some flirtatious texting later in the day…. this guy seems really nice and quite normal, portrait & landscape photographer, well dressed, very Noel Gallagher looking, plus it was fun how we met as I’d been through a bit of a bad run with that fishy dating website so was nice to just meet someone randomly….. Texts continued and there was talk of going out for a drink…. and then…. and then came the part I love to hate, he asks me ‘Can you send me some pictures?’…… I get it, this is the world we live in now and I love technology but whatever happened to just meeting someone for a coffee? See me in person with no filters, you will know within the first 5 minutes if there is an attraction, even sooner than that…. So I thought ok we did only meet very briefly so I’ll just send him a few recent photos that I have on Facebook, it’s nothing that I haven’t already put out to the public. Problem with this is you have opened the door to sending images but my theory is you don’t have to send anything you don’t want too…. doesn’t stop them though!

So he sends me a picture of him in his underwear amongst his other fully clothed pictures….. I just say he looks handsome and leave it at that……. A few days pass and there has been no more messaging so I just message to say hi and see how he is……. No reply…… A few more days pass and I get a ‘Hey, sorry I was out all weekend working and partying and being hung over…how are you?…. His next message was ‘So are you going to play with me now, or will I have to use my imagination?’……. my reply ‘IMAGINATION.’

 

#Hello From London ! ! !

‘You Right?!’….’You Ok?!’…..

I’ve lived in London for 3 months now and I still cannot figure this out, are people are actually asking me if I am alright? If I am ok?…. Or is this the same as an Australian ‘How’s it goin?!’… Sometimes you are genuinely asking someone ‘How are you going?’….Other times, say when you’re greeting the check out chick, it’s just saying an extended version of ‘Hello’, no need to respond with how you are actually going …. So there is me saying back to all these pomie ‘You ok’s?!’ with ‘Good thanks, how are you?’… Wondering why some people just keep on walking and others look rather confused as they slowly reply ‘Ah yeah alright’…. I have even asked people from the UK what is the right response here?…. They respond with ‘You Right?!’…..I’m still confused…. What really makes me laugh though is I joined a dating website… something about lots of fishing (Will explain this later)….. and guys actually write to me ‘You ok’…. No question mark?….. Are you asking me or telling me?….. This is not helping! So I’ve decided as long as I still have an Aussie accent where ‘You alright’ just does not feel alright, well not for me…. ‘How’s it goin?!’ and ‘Good thanks, you?’… will be my go-too options, that way I’m covered for whatever it means!

#Slight Pause

Sorry about that slight pause in between stories… Long story short…. The last month has gone something like this:

Ibiza – Crying on the Plane – London – Flat Hunt – Job Hunt – Wearing 4 Layers of Clothes – Missing Ibiza. The End.

Let me fill in some blanks…. Well I almost didn’t make my flight from Ibiza to London!….

My last 2 days in Spain and I spent them on the island Formentera with my Ibiza Crush (His idea too…’Start spreading the news’)…. Formentera is breathtakingly beautiful. It is a tranquil island getaway only accessible by boat just half an hour from Ibiza, as soon as you step onto the island peacefulness and relaxation smack you in the face….. You really can’t believe this place exists so close to the crazy beautiful madness of Ibiza…..

Formentera is known for its beaches that are only accessible by car or bicycle…. You can walk but will take you a while so we jump in a taxi & head…..The beach is beautiful and the water goes for as far as the eyes can see, the sand is soft and the water is crystal clear with the nudist’s frolicking about doing some kind of naked water acrobatics that maybe shouldn’t be done naked……or at least not in public!……After the magical sunset and in the background what looked like a naked game of ‘tip you’re it’ it started to get a bit cooler and the beers had run out so we decide to head back to the hotel only to realise that we are slightly stranded at the beach with no car or bicycle….. Looks like we are going to have to walk….. We start dragging our feet really not wanting to walk when a car pulls up, it’s an older Italian couple that don’t speak much English and motion for us to get into their car…… They don’t look like serial killers and saves us walking and a possible 20-euro taxi fare…. Why not, I guess sometimes you can depend on the kindness of strangers….. Back to the hotel for the night and spend the whole next day lazing in the sun – Pure bliss!

Arriving back to Ibiza for my last night well relaxed – it was time to party!….. And party we did….. My flight was at midday the next day so I set my alarm and as long as I made the 10am bus I was fine……… My crush and I started at Ibiza Rocks to see a band called the Brand New Heavies, I know we ended the night at a Spanish club and in between all that was some West End action, I finally got my monkey ‘Bubbles’ and many tequila shots, any actual details of the night may require CCTV footage…… So falling into bed at some early hour of the morning…. A short while later in a drunken sleep haze I hear this beeping sound right in my ear…. What is that noise?…. Why is it so loud so early?….. Make it stop….. Make it stoooopppp…… Some bashing of buttons later and there we go… Silence…. And back to sleep……..

Some Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz’s later……

I open my eyes and launch out of bed, that wasn’t an annoying random beeping noise….. It was my alarm! It was just so foreign to me now, because I hadn’t heard it for several months…. I grab my phone searching for the time, rubbing my eyes…. No that is not the time! THAT IS NOT THE TIME!!….It can’t be….. Holy mother of I haven’t even packed yet!….. It was 9.40am. I had 20 minutes to pack… Sorry throw my whole life into a suitcase and run for the bus. I decided to gift a whole load of summer clothes and toiletries to the cleaning ladies at the hotel, I was going into Winter anyway and I knew very well that my suitcase was well and truly over the weight limit…… So much over my suit case handle snapped on the way to the bus stop…..Thank goodness I had a helping hand…..I made it to the bus with literally no seconds to spare, threw my suitcase on the bus and pretty much myself…. No time for tears just a quick ‘See ya later’ and I was on my way to the airport…….

I didn’t think that leaving Ibiza after a good 3 months of being there would have had me so emotional to leave, I thought I would be happy and ready to go….But as I sat on the plane staring out of the small window thinking of my time in Ibiza, the people I have met, the beaches, the dance floors, the hang overs….Watching the island become a small speck of land in the distance I couldn’t hold back the tears…..Why am I crying, I am a grown woman pull yourself together…… Oh yeah no sleep and probably still drunk!

Luckily waiting for me at the other end in London was my cousin Mark and a big cup of coffee…. Mark and I head out for dinner and an Ibiza debrief in Reading (Sounds like Red-ing, my new temporary home) then go for a few quiet drinks with Marks’ friends……. A dance floor or two later and I am crawling into bed at 4am!

Welcome to the UK!

#From PJ’s To DJ’s

I was just having a chill night in my pj’s when my flat mate Harriet came into the room and said ‘Get ready we are going out’…… ‘You have 10 hmmm 20 minutes max to get ready’….. Ok, lucky I don’t have a whole lot of options when it comes to clothes here in Ibiza as I only brought 1 suit case, where as my flat mates brought their whole wardrobes!…… I quickly get dressed and ask where we are going….. Harriet and her work colleague Rosie met a group of guys from Essex in London and they invited us to their apartment to go out with them for the night….Why not!

Harriet and I jump on the disco bus where I spot the pizza man who apparently has a little crush on me (So I have been told, he also looks like he only eats pizza) yet I never get any free pizza or even a stale garlic bread when I’m in his shop….. Women like food just as much as men, he’s not trying very hard to woo me if this rumour is true! (Insert sarcasm)…… We get off the bus outside Pacha and cross the road to where the guys were staying at the 5 star Ibiza Gran Hotel. We walk straight in the hotel and up to the room past security, no checking for wrist bands or card to use the lifts, just straight through…… We were not in San Antonio anymore!…. The hotel is very nice, in each room there is air conditioning – Oh how I have missed thee….A bath right in the middle of the room, random but very cool and looking over the balcony out to the pool area, this was the place to be and be seen. The guys told us that this is the hotel most DJ’s and celebrities stay at when they come to Ibiza, and they had been hanging with the guys from Disclosure by the pool the other day. At an average of 350 Euro a night (My monthly rent) I guess these guys were doing alright for themselves.

After a few drinks I discovered that they were all very successful and just a group of really nice guys, there was Pete who was a DJ, Mike who Harriet was sort of seeing, TJ who I think they wanted me to see – maybe if he stood on a stack of phone books and Johnny who Rosie was sort of seeing. Johnny struck it big and won the lotto so that is where his coin came from, he also went on to tell us that he is some kind of socialite in Essex. He was telling Rosie that if we hung out with him in Essex nothing would be a problem and once we have been seen with him we would have over a thousand more Twitter followers the next day, I think he was trying to impress her and most likely uses this line to impress women….. Must be the modern version of pick-up lines, I did not get that memo ….He seemed like a nice guy anyway and all he kept saying through the night was ‘Nothing is a problem’……

And sure enough nothing was a problem, the original plan was to go to Pacha for a VIP table but they ditched that idea and we went to Space nightclub instead. It was about 3am and to get a VIP table you had to arrive slightly earlier than what we did so they were going to charge a ridiculous price *cough cough* 3000 Euro!….. Johnny went away and after a short while he came back with VIP wristbands for all of us as we were escorted to the front table in VIP… Johnny later flashed the receipt and he ended up paying 1300 Euro for the table, which included the largest bottle of Belvedere Vodka and, as many mixers as you wished plus numerous tequila shots, he didn’t even bat an eye lid it was like spare change to him……. The club was super busy that night too, so I’m not going to lie we had the best seat in the house… Just another night in the VIP, a never ending glass of alcohol, sure you can smoke in the bathroom, yeah you can dance on the table….Actually just do whatever you want!

6am and the guys wanted to leave us girls wanted to stay….. We didn’t think it was right to stay and drink the vodka without the guys who paid for it being there, so we all left and went back to the hotel….. Ah good old hind sight, we should have just stayed and drank the vodka and kept on partying as there was not much going on at the hotel and within 15 minutes of just sitting around, us girls looked at each other as if to say ‘And we left a VIP table at Space to come and sit around here because?’…..So we got a taxi back to San Antonio to party on at Es Vedra apartments.

Es Vedra workers apartments are exactly what the name suggests, apartments where workers in Ibiza stay. They are notorious for being a bit wild – sex, drugs and rock n roll styles, definitely the opposite of our Mother Teresa apartment where no parties or boys are allowed!…. Basically there will always be somewhere to party in someone’s apartment day, night, morning after, and so we did….. Harriet and I walking home at 11am wondering how we got here, if we will ever feel normal again e: Not hung over, and why we thought walking home at 11am in 30 degree heat was a good idea….

 

#Miss Shivers

What could be even better than spending your birthday in Ibiza with your brother?…. Having one of your favourite most amazing best friends from back home turn up in Ibiza the very next day!… It was perfect timing as I’d just said goodbye to my brother Matt and it also was the first time since being away that I had gotten a bit sad, I told Matt it was because I had something in my eye but we both know that’s not true because I’m a sook and I don’t know when I’ll next see him…. Could be another year from now!

So as soon as Miss Shivers (Siobhan) got off that bus I couldn’t wait to give her a hug and begin our 2 day Ibiza bender!

We warmed up the day with some beers on the beach at Cala Tarida with my flat mate Juliet… A few hours of sun and booze, we headed back home to get ready for the Sunset. Thinking we had plenty of time…. Three girls using one bathroom I think not… There we are three hysterical girls running down the road towards the sunset to make it just in time to see the sun go down. We walked along the strip and into Savannahs for the Glitter Box Pre-party where Joey Negro was DJ-ing and Siobhan made it her mission to get photos with all DJ’s and get in the DJ box… She did not disappoint!……Few jugs of sangria later we headed to get some dinner before making our way to the club Amnesia for ‘Matinee’. It was on our way to dinner that we ran into Alan, our new found friend on the street…. I can’t really tell you a lot about Alan because children may read this blog…. And my parents….. But he was definitely an interesting one!

A quick ride on the disco bus and we are at Amnesia. Amnesia is one of the biggest clubs in Ibiza with two rooms it has a capacity of over 5000 people.‘Matinee’ the night we were going to is a night club experience with a twist at around 3am a show starts on the main stage with the DJ still playing away – just be prepared for anything and everything….. It’s very colourful, insane very out there costumes, lots of girls and guys dancing, I should add very very fit girls and guys dancing it’s enough to make you not want to eat… ever…. There’s acrobatics, drag queens, abs, butts, boobs, balls and a whole lot of nothing being worn!…… This night is so much fun, it definitely caters to the gay community which I just love, means you can dance away and not worry about some creep trying to hit on you…… Oh wait that still happens it’s just less frequent!….. We met a group of lovely guys and ended up just dancing and partying with them, I think they made our night they were so much fun! Rolling in the door at 7am with Hungry Jacks in hand and graciously walked home by my ‘New York New York’, not a bad first night out…..

Next day all feeling just a little dusty we spent the day lounging by the pool which is the best hang over cure…. And prepared us for what was one of the best nights I have had in Ibiza. That afternoon we headed over to Playa Den Bossa to start the frivolities at Bora Bora Beach Club, this is a party that starts early in the morning on the beach and keeps going all night long, it is a must do when in Ibiza. A few drinks at Bora Bora we decided to hit some bars for a little bit of cheap drinking before heading into Space night club.

Walking down the main road of Playa Den Bossa and a guy stops us ‘3.50 euro for a drink and a shot’ we look at the bar and it is nothing special, in fact it looked really bad but there were still quite a few people in there, so couldn’t be that bad….. It’s my fault as Siobhan and Juliet did not want to go in there but all I heard him say was ‘3.50 euro for a drink and a shot’ we were just paying 9 euro for 1 drink so this was a bargain, how could we refuse as I drag the girls inside……. Well the shot was of course watered down peach schnapps and the drink, well the drink was a mixture of nail polish remover and probably what evil tastes like! Juliet was smart enough not to order anything as Siobhan and I looked at each other, we knew what had to be done ‘She went to go to heaven but she went the other way she went down down down down’….. Something must have been in that drink because we didn’t leave, we ordered more!……. Which was also about the same time a group of eight guys pulled up chairs at the table next to us…….A few more drinks later, of what I am certain was not just alcohol and we made friends with the table of eight guys from Manchester and all headed to Space together for ‘We Love Sundays’…… I managed to get us on guest list by telling a small fib about where I worked, he thought I was lying and I was, yet I still convinced him to get us in for free!

‘We Love Sundays’ at Space is a great night, such a mixed crowd and always has a really good line up of DJ’s. Tonight’s main headliner was Groove Armada and I didn’t really know what to expect from them but WOW they were unreal, I wish my phone hadn’t died so I could have recorded them as they just killed it….. Juliet ended up leaving early on and Siobhan and I just partied with our new mates from Manchester who bought us drinks all night. It was just such a fun night full of laughs, dancing, drinking and great music…. And Hello new best friends buying us drinks, plus the bar tender loved us she kept giving us sneaky shots of vodka & telling us not to tell anyone! Ooopsie!…… It was getting to that time of the morning where those vodka shots were taking their toll and Siobhan and I were running for the last disco bus back to San Antonio, one of the guys Simon wanted to come back to San Antonio with us and party on, I don’t think he wanted the night to end…..It was like a scene from a movie…. Siobhan and I are standing at the bus door as Simon is holding onto our hands whilst the bus is slowly driving away….. Whole bus cheering and yelling for us to hurry up!……..

Siobhan and I stumble home and as we get to the front door, Siobhan starts taking off her shoes…. ‘I’ve had enough of these shoes, they kill my feet I don’t want them anymore’…. I start to chant ‘On the roof, On the roof!’…. Nobody can resist a chant and sure enough Siobhan flings her shoes onto our neighbours roof….. We could not stop laughing!

The next morning I wake up and Siobhan has half an hour to get to the bus, I try to gently wake her…. Siobhan’s arms flying as she whips off her eye mask ‘Oh my god I’ve missed my flight, I’ve missed my flight!’ she screams….. I can’t stop laughing as I tell her ‘No you haven’t, but you have 30 mins to get to the bus stop or you will!’

Saying Goodbye to Siobhan was just as bad as saying Goodbye to my brother, I was fighting back the tears but she gave me some amazing words that I’ll never forget and I’m so lucky to have such a wonderful friend in my life who came and partied all the way across the other side of the world…. And now everyday when I look out my window there will always be a little piece of Siobhan here with me in Ibiza!

#Since Siobhan leaving her departing gift on the roof, a few other additions have been made to the Roof of Memories….. My room mate Harriet’s Angel singlet, a few bangles and necklaces of mine and what looks to be someone’s unwanted kebabs…..

 

 

 

 

 

#Surprise!

Whilst I had packed my bags and said Goodbye to Australia for an indefinite amount of time, my brother Matt was also on a bit of a European adventure himself…. I Facebook messaged Matt to see how he was going in Scotland as he was there the same time as my Mum and it was his first time visiting the motherland… A few hours later he replied with ‘Ooops Don’t look where this message is being sent from’…… I click on the location and up pops a map saying San Antonio Ibiza! Followed by a picture he had just taken of San Antonio……WHAT! My wee brother is literally 2 minutes away from me in Ibiza!

I am ecstatic, I cannot wait to see him….. On my way to go and meet Matt I get a phone call from Mum asking me if I had gotten my surprise yet….. The fact that my Mum kept this a secret from me for 3 days is a surprise in its self!….. I see Matt and just give him the biggest hug, it was only a day earlier that I was telling my friend Emma how I was craving a hug from someone who really knows me and here it was! Never underestimate the power of a hug.

Matt and I spent the day catching up with beers on the beach, we later met up with my Aussie mate David and headed to Cala Gracio beach for some sun and sangria with some of David’s friends…..There I am just hanging out on the beach with my brother in Ibiza 3 days before my birthday, it felt like my birthday already!….. Juliet had cooked us a massive baked dinner and I think that was the perfect ending to Matt’s first day in Ibiza as he decided he was not going to make it out with us that night….. Us girls all headed off to Booom! To see MK, Oliver $, Simon Dunmore and Shovell for Defected in the House.

Next day I take Matt & a few bottles of Sangria on the ferry to Cala Bassa beach for the day…. Now this is the life, chilling out on the beach listening to music coming from the beach bars, swimming, drinking, catching up with my brother and beach napping…. What is not to love?! And he wants to see Steve Aoki with me!

After the beach we get changed and head down to the sunset strip to just miss the sunset….. Nothing that a few beers won’t fix! We head to Café Mambos and there he is my mate Steve Aoki in the DJ booth only a few metres away it is the best place to be, it’s such an unreal vibe everybody is drinking and dancing and going nuts when Steve played his last song, it was so much fun being there with my brother! After Mambos we headed to get some food before we had arranged to meet David and Dolly to go to Pikes (Freddy Mercury’s Villa)… on the way we accidentally wandered into a bar to get drinks and free shots…. By the time we got food we were pretty wasted and by the time we met up with David & Dolly, well we were in fine form!……

The four of us wandered through the West End to head to Pikes when I walk pass a guy who was staring at me and calls out ‘Reagan’ I give him a look of do I really look like a Reagan?…. For him to then call out ‘Claire’….. I turn and say ‘Yes, do I know you?’….. He says ‘No but I think you know my friend’… and from behind him walks who I think is named ‘Delorian’, it’s still not clear but I met him when I first came to Ibiza, we had swapped numbers and planned to meet up yet I never heard from him after that –

He begins to tell me that ‘I won’t believe what happened!’….. His bag was stolen on the beach and his phone was in his bag so that is why I had never heard from him…. My natural response is ‘Oh yeah sure, that old chestnut, I was robbed excuse’….. Laughing, he asks if he can have my number again… I blame beer for this but I gave it to him against my better judgment.

David, Dolly, Matt and I head into Pikes and I have a bit of a love hate with Pikes. I love it’s history because I love Freddy Mercury and it’s the villa he used to party at, I love that you can sing karaoke in the bath tub but I never seem to want to stay there long as it’s very chilled compared to the rest of Ibiza and the best way to describe it, it is like being at a house party that you weren’t invited too…..

I then get a message from lets just call him Delorian…. Saying oh so smoothly in capital letters…not sure why he was yelling ‘I STILL WANT YOU BADLY 😉 IF THAT’S OK XX SOME SEX ON THE BEACH SOMETIME AFTER I FINISH WORK ONE DAY? WITH SOME CANDLE LIGHT AND DRINKS? XX’….. Easy Tiger! You thought my name was Reagan, maybe Reagan would have been flattered by your subtly but ummm not me!

So Matt didn’t stay long at Pikes and I knew once we did a lap he would leave because I kind of wanted to too…. I couldn’t convince him to stay not even karaoke in the bathtub could sway him, so Matt left and I stayed with David and Dolly. I’m glad I did because I fulfilled my dream of singing Beyoncé’s ‘Crazy In Love’ in the bathtub…. I can leave Pikes a happy woman!

 

#I Just Want To See Steve

I think my flat mates are over hearing me say it but I just want to see Steve Aoki. Wednesday nights he plays down at Café Mambos after the sunset for free, it’s his pre-party before playing at Pacha. Marina decided to shut me up and come with me…… Well that was the plan……

So I know the suspense is killing you… So we didn’t get to see Steve, therefore decided to make the most of our night and head out anyway. We head down to the West End to Trafik to see our good old friend Beverly to see if he is still talking to us after the threesome stand off…… Seems as though it is water under the bridge. Marina and I decide to make the most of a DJ and empty dance floor and request some old school tunes … ‘Pump up the jam’…. No surprises there, quite a few drinks and dances later we decide to move on…. Just as we are leaving the DJ calls me over and hands me a piece of paper with his number on it and says if I am around later to give him a call….. That was also made awkward by the stares the man who looks after the loos was giving me whilst mouthing ‘I love you’… I’m not sure how to take that, so I quickly leave……

Love must have been in the air tonight…. Or at least something was because I then had a random guy buy me a rose, the old Spanish man who walks around offering to take photos of you declared his undying love for me several times as I ran into through the night, ran into my ‘Looky Looky’ mate Abdul and ‘Looky Looky’ ‘I am a man from Gambia’ who decided to over share on the size of his nether regions…… Maybe it was a full moon!

Marina and I head into Hospital Bar and there are two guys wheeling around in wheel chairs, now what else is there to do in this situation but jump on one of the guys laps as he wheeled us around the bar starting a wheel chair war with the other guy…. Only in Ibiza! Next thing I’m being pushed around in a wheel chair by myself as a complete Queen Sheba, arms up in the air legs crossed drink in hand – again only in Ibiza!……. We then hit the usual hot spots, Soul City, Trance Den then ended up in Tropicana….. It was about this time I had lost Marina somewhere in between the wheel chairs and too many mojitos at the trance den I find myself sitting at the bar in Tropicana with one of the bar tenders of the trance den, I look in my wallet and I have 2 euros to my name…. I then decide well you don’t ask, you don’t get…. I ask the older Spanish bar tender what he can make me for 2 euros and he starts to make me this huge fishbowl cocktail….

5.30am rolls around and the bars are closing, I find Marina outside and we wander up to the Ship Inn….. My Ibiza Crush then meets us up there too, we were going to grab a few night caps when all of a sudden I hear screaming and I turn to see Marina is full on fisty cuffs with another girl who we later found out was a stripper….. I managed to grab Marina’s bag that had been hurled across the square and thank fully the Guardia (Civil Police) came to break it up, not that they really did much….. I got Marina and walked her in the direction of home…..Moral of this story is that the West End is intense, it’s a fun crazy place to start the night to have a few cheap drinks and a dance, Soul City is a must go to and be prepared for anything and everything….. And don’t call strippers b*tches!

 

 

#Life’s A Beach

As much as Ibiza is known for it’s party scene, it has some truly beautiful beaches….. I have managed to get to just a few so far…..

Cala Gracio_This little hidden gem is about a 20 minute walk from the centre of San Antonio, a little beach cove paradise tucked away you wouldn’t even know it existed. It’s a nice relaxing beach if you want some peace and quiet, you’re not sitting on top of every beach goer here and there’s plenty of shade too under trees, with rocks to jump off and explore, it is also patrolled…..and worth the walk.

 

Cala Bassa_A 20 minute boat ride or bus trip from San Antonio and you are living in what feels like a postcard. The water is a myriad of blues with soft sand….. if you don’t mind it’s popularity it’s a great way a spend a day in the sun, swimming and chilling out to the tunes that come from the beach bars.

 

Cala Tarida_Hard to pick a favourite but I think this is mine. A short bus trip from San Antonio and a scenic walk down several flights of stairs takes you here. Whilst it is popular you won’t have trouble finding your own piece of paradise whether it be on the beach lounges by the bar, jumping off the surrounding rocks, on the sand by the live bands playing or just relaxing in the sea on a bed of sand and pebble stones. A must visit.

 

Cala Salada_A bit of a journey to get to but well worth it, either an adventurous walk or short taxi ride from San Antonio takes you down a winding path to this little beach haven…. Not a lot of sand to sit on but plenty of rocks if you don’t mind a bit of an adventurous walk around the cove.

 

Cala Des Moro_ 30 degrees even through those clouds. A small patch of beach that is becoming increasingly popular, known as the ‘Workers beach’ due to its easy accessibility and minimal tourists. Just a small taste of paradise if you don’t have time to venture elsewhere…. I suggest sitting on the deck or the rocks as you’ll be hard pressed to find space on the sand.

There are still a few beaches I’d love to visit…. Definitely a trip to Formentera which is said to be magical and Las Salinas where no clothes are required….. All in the name of research!

#Captain Marina

Today was the start of Marina’s Birthday celebrations… in Ibiza you celebrate your birthday for a whole week, so it was Tuesday and Marina’s birthday was on the Saturday. Marina had hired a 5-man boat for the afternoon to cruise around to beaches and watch the sunset….. All 5 of us turn up with our hang over t-shirts on – Marina, Juliet, Laura, Paul and myself, rough as guts about to get on a boat that we have to drive ourselves…….So what do you do in this situation?…. You have shots!…….. Before we even get on the boat we are a man down, Juliet is too sick and heads home, then there were 4…..

Why are we hung over you ask?…. Well it was Juliet’s first night in Ibiza so we went out for a few quiet drinks…. You know that old chestnut. I ended up running into ‘New York New York’ DJ Uch and having drinks & good convos with him till all hours of the morning (#myibizacrush), Marina met a friend and they went to Es Vedra to watch the sunrise in his Porsche only to lose the Porsche keys off the cliff & was stranded so by the time she got home, I got home *cough cough* 11am…… Juliet was the only sensible one who was in bed whilst it was still dark yet she was the most hung over!… Laura had her last night at work so she had been drinking all night and Paul, well we didn’t know what Paul had been up too…….

Alright back to this day at sea…….We all hop on and it just feels that if a strong wind came along the boat would blow over and if we all stood on the same side of the boat it would definitely tip over, so it’s not the sturdiest of boats to begin with but for 30 euros each for 5 or so hours who is complaining….. Paul is designated driver so he takes in all the information and we set off out of the dock…… We are no less than 5 minutes in the boat and we crash into another boat that was towing people on a rubber donut and it happened in such slow motion that you knew it was going to happen but couldn’t be stopped…. Thank goodness it was just a small bump but it was enough to rattle our hung over souls… The boat driver yelling at us in Spanish did not help either….. Anywho we get out into the harbour and it is busy, there are boats everywhere and it was quite choppy due to this… I am usually pretty good on the water, I don’t get rattled easily but my heart was in my throat….. We decide that since our sea legs are not that great we will put the anchor down at the next beach….. Driving into the beach and Marina trying to be funny pulls out the emergency stop and the boat stops…. Now we are in the way of the ferry and drifting towards the rocks…… You would think ok, just put the emergency stop back in and start the boat….. The boat doesn’t start!…… By now Laura is well and truly freaking out and wants to get off the boat she is done. Paul is on the phone to the boat hire place getting instructions on how to start the boat again, he has no luck so now someone is coming to rescue us. The guy arrives in his rubber dingy and Laura is outta here she climbs onto his boat and says goodbye…… Turns out the boat needed to be in neutral to start again… I hold my tongue at this point because the first thing I said when we couldn’t start the boat was ‘Is the boat in the correct gear?’…… So then there were 3.

We set off again and decide to find a beach to anchor down at….. I sat right up the front of the boat whilst Marina and Paul drove, I started to feel a bit more at ease now….. We pull into a beach called Cala Bassa……. Driving into the cove there are already several boats anchored, Paul floats the boat in between a few other boats at what looked to be a safe distance and then we started to drift closer and closer and closer, Marina put down the anchor but the boat was drifting… There I am sitting at the front of the boat and I can see what is happening…..We are going to hit the boats, not just little run-about boats like ours I’m talking boats worth more than 10 of our little boats – we need to move, we are too close….. I turn around and Paul is on his phone not even paying attention to what is going on…. Marina and I scramble to get the anchor up as she is screaming at Paul to start the boat and get off his phone. He thinks it’s hilarious and we are freaking out, the boat is drifting closer and closer to a massive not cheap yacht whilst everyone on the yacht and surrounding yachts are watching us….. I just cover my eyes and hope for the best….. We came within millimeters of hitting this yacht….. I was beginning to think Juliet and Laura had the right idea when they got off this sinking ship……

We head away from the beach and Paul is driving us mad, he starts heading towards the rocks and is laughing spinning the boat around, really winding us up…. Marina and I are livid, as you can imagine we are so rattled we just want to be still, not be near any boats or rocks and just go for a relaxing swim, it’s now 7pm so we decide our best bet is to cross the sea and head for Café Mambos and anchor down in time for the sunset….. It was around this time that we realized that Paul was not quite sober he was indeed a drunken sailor, he neglected to tell us that he was still drinking at 10am this morning!….. Now everything makes sense! Marina takes charge and drives the boat, Captain Marina to the rescue for smooth sailing here on in…… Marina’s phone starts ringing at it’s Laura, she was just checking to see if we were all still alive…. And it just so happened she was walking along the beach we were near – Let’s Pick up Laura!…… I don’t even know how Marina did this but she managed to get the boat in close enough so Laura could jump back in the boat!…. We have 4 again!

We drive over and anchor down at Café Mambos along the sunset strip, what a way to end the day. We get to be those people in their boats watching the sunset that everybody hates! It has such a great vibe down along the sunset strip, you can hear the music from the boat, lots of boats start pulling up, guys cruising around selling cocktails and drinks in their rubber dingy, people are swimming, everyone is sitting all along the rocks drinking and dancing, it truly is amazing!….. When the sun slowly goes down the whole of the strip starts cheering and clapping, it’s such a great experience that just never gets old…… Time to take the boat back and get back onto dry land….. Not going to lie I was pretty happy to have my feet back on solid ground!